This becomes even more important as our children grow into teens and young adults. We’re parenting for the long-haul here, rather than quick fixes that temporarily change behavior without addressing the underlying needs- our human needs- for love, connection, support, especially when we’re struggling.
Everything I’m saying here also applies to you as an adult, too. You may have unmet developmental needs from not getting your own needs met when you were growing up that show up now when you’re parenting your own child. Just notice those tender places for yourself.
As other possible explanations for what was happening with Lynn started to surface, her daughter came and joined the session to share more about how she had been really depressed and was struggling to do anything. It actually wasn’t about Anna, but what was going on for Lynn needed some more support.
They were able to come up with a plan that worked for both of them and she was back to school within a day or so.
Lynn didn’t need a consequence. She needed connection and support. And once someone got that, everything shifted.
