Videos

I want you to take a moment and think about your closest relationships. They’re probably with people you can share anything with and where it’s safe for you to express your feelings and your deepest concerns. I remember reading Connection Parenting by Pam Leo and she asked you to think about your safe person, describing the tears falling when your special person walks in the room.

The next question that inevitably comes up when we’re talking about feelings and maybe not doing a time out is that it means we’re encouraging chaos, that things are going to be out of control, that it means we can’t say no. Creating space for feelings doesn’t mean that your kids can do anything they want. It means that when you need to say no about something, you make room for how they’re feeling about that no.

Everywhere we go as parents, the prevailing information is that we need to train our children out of their feelings and expressions. We insist our kids use words and find a logical way of expressing themselves, which in and of itself isn’t a bad idea. But when do our kids actually have the space to express their feelings?

A number of years ago, I took a course with Dr. Bruce Perry, who is a neuroscientist, brain researcher and clinician. One of the things that I found to be most fascinating is that our brains aren’t really meant to be logical all the time and that’s actually ok. We’ve been taught by our culture that if it isn’t logical, it isn’t valuable. Period. But Dr. Perry’s research blew that out of the water for me.

In Better Relationships in 2 Minutes, I’m going to be exploring a wide variety of topics that support creating and nurturing healthy relationships along with healing relationships when they aren’t doing well. My ideas are based on the latest research in attachment, epigenetics, Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology, sociology, systems theory, neurobiology, trauma resolution, and more.