It’s Never Too Late to Heal
It’s never too late to heal your relationships.
That’s right. It’s never too late to heal.
In this book, you’re supported to move from chaos, pain, and disconnected relationships to peace, ease, and joy in your relationship stories.
Chances are that you’re here because you have a relationship that isn’t feeling great. Especially now with so many fractured relationships, unexpected deaths, political discord, and the many ways people have been under tremendous stress over the past few years, I would argue that most people have a relationship that needs some healing balm.
When a relationship with someone you care about isn’t working, life feels like a struggle. When you don’t know what to do to ease the stress, how to reconnect, or how to complete what is unfinished with another person, directly or indirectly, it can feel like you’re in an endless loop of suffering.
It’s Never too Late to Heal is here to help you transform the relationship stories of your life. Whether this relationship is with a child, a partner (coupled now or not), your parents, a friend, or your relationship with yourself, you’ll find practical tools, information, and support in the form of stories to inspire you, and help you find your way back to peace.
If you’re looking for a new, healthier way forward in your relationships, It’s Never too Late to Heal lays out a path to help you find your own way forward, to see something new, to create healing for yourself along the way. Whether you’re experiencing a challenge after something happened in your lifetime or your child’s lifetime, if you’re determined to change transgenerational patterns to do something healthier now, or you are in a relationship that just doesn’t feel good, you’ll be guided with warmth and gentleness to understand your journey in a new light.
Throughout this book, you’ll learn about listening, how to offer real support, and how to receive it. If you’re expecting someone else to tell you what to do—if you are looking for someone to give you exact instructions that will make things better overnight—this book may not be for you. But if you want to feel truly empowered to make a difference in your own life, to utilize tools that will support you to make the changes you need to make for yourself and your family, and to heal your relationships, then this book is for you.
The relationship that needs some healing could be with a child, a partner (coupled now or not), your parents, a friend, or your relationship with yourself.
I’ve dedicated my life to helping families do the healing work needed to make their lives better, empowering people like you to create relationships that work and are emotionally healthy, and finishing what feels unfinished in whatever way is possible.
In order to really understand healing relationships, we need to have a better understanding of attachment, trauma, and overwhelming events, and their impact on our bodies and our lives.
We need to understand the idea of stories—the ones that we tell, the ones in our bodies, and the ones that help us to heal, grow, and repair our connections and disconnections.
We literally need one another to survive, and when a relationship isn’t working, we need tools, information, and support to make it better.
But we don’t need lectures. We need stories of growth and healing because stories inspire us and help us to understand the path back to connection. We need to hear how others have approached their challenges in a different way than we’ve been approaching ours to find our way into something new that feels better in our whole being.
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Sometimes what you’re experiencing is a difficulty from something that happened in your lifetime or your child’s lifetime.
It could be a traumatic event, abuse, separation, divorce, the loss of a friendship, or a death.
Maybe you’re looking to support your own healing after something happened to you.
Maybe you’re looking to support your child’s healing.
Perhaps you’re trying to heal the relationship with someone with whom you had or still have a difficult relationship, whether that person is living or not, whether that person is capable of healing with you directly or not.
When we acknowledge the relationships that aren’t working, we begin to change things within and then outside of us.
Sometimes what you’re experiencing is transgenerational.
Patterns are passed from one generation to the next and you’re trying to do something different, something that is emotionally healthier than what those who came before you knew how to bring into being. Changing generational patterns requires us to see them and to have enough support to choose a different path. When we make these changes, we’re changing the course of life for ourselves and our children.
This is healing.
Sometimes a current relationship just doesn’t feel good, and something needs to change.
But what you’re doing isn’t working and you’re not sure what else to do. You want to find a way to move forward through the pain, to reconnect with your body’s own inner guidance system, resourcing yourself using some simple techniques to help you come back to and be in the present moment alone or in connection with others where healing can begin.
This is healing.
The beautiful thing is that we’re going to be exploring what healing looks like in your life together. The old social mores most of us have been taught and are living with: We think we have to keep things to ourselves and/or we need to figure it all out on our own. Or we need to just “move on” and pretend painful events and exchanges didn’t happen. But that’s a recipe for disease (and passing unhealthy patterns on to the next generation).
The new, healthier way forward is a recognition and acknowledgement that we need each other and we can support one another as we find our way, and that by acknowledging our wounds in safe enough spaces, deep healing can happen.
Throughout this book, you’ll learn about listening, how to offer real support, and how to receive it.
If you’re expecting someone else to tell you what to do—if you are looking for someone to give you exact instructions that will make things better overnight— this may not be for you.
But if you want to feel truly empowered to make a difference in your own life, to utilize tools that will support you to make the changes you need to make for yourself and your family, and to heal your relationships, then this is for you.
Healing looks different for all people and all families.
We’re going to explore what healing can look like through real stories from real families who have healed: families who are no longer dragging around the pain of the past and have truly forgiven those who need to be forgiven.
Sometimes healing looks like a reunion and deep healing happens in the relationship.
You’ll hear lots of stories where that has happened. But you’ll also hear stories where the healing looks totally different from that, and stories where the healing that happens is within. There is no right or wrong way to heal.
Healing doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation, nor does it mean that there will be a happy ending where everyone lives happily ever after together.
But it does mean that you will find peace and be connected to yourself in a deeper way. And it means that you will find peace about the relationship, knowing that you have done what you need to do to heal and grow.
Healing also means making sense of the story.
It means seeing yourself and what happened through a realistic lens—not one that is all negative or all positive. You’re able to see your strengths as well as your areas of growth. You’re able to see what you are responsible for and what others are responsible for, what belongs to you and what belongs to someone else.
Thank you for joining me on this important journey for you and your family. We’re going to do this together.
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About the Author:
Rebecca Thompson Hitt, MS, MFT (Barry University, 2001) is the founder and executive director of The Consciously Parenting Project (2007 to present). Rebecca has a passion for supporting individuals and parents to grow themselves up in their current relationship challenges. She delights in empowering people to find peace and connection with their loved ones, including themselves, supporting the transformation of the way we all understand children and our relationships.
Her holistic approach, which includes our earliest experiences and nervous system patterns, her gentleness and compassion, and her deep listening without pathologizing, helps us to see ourselves and those we care about with new eyes and supports the transformation needed in the world starting with our closest relationships. With over 30 years of professional experience working with individuals, couples, and families, in addition to her own personal healing work raising her now young adult sons, Rebecca is dedicated to transforming our relationships stories, one relationship and one family at a time.
