What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families Series- Day 4

Regulation and Dysregulation
We’ll be shifting how we look at our children and their behavior by taking a closer look at the foundational principles of Consciously Parenting. You may just discover something about yourself in this process, too.
Principle 1: All behavior is a communication. Behavior reflects the internal state of the individual and the relationship’s level of connection.
New terms to help us to shift the way we see our children: regulation and dysregulation. We use these terms to describe the internal state of an individual.
Dysregulation happens when someone experiences stress beyond what he or she can cope with alone.
In contrast, when someone is regulated, he or she in an internal state of calm. The term regulation is used in every scientific discipline and is strongly correlated to overall mental health, yet it is a term most parents have never heard before.
Example of regulated: You’ve just woken up from a full night’s sleep. You’re next to someone who loves you. All is well.
Example of dysregulated: It is time to leave the park. Your child is tired and hungry. So are you. He’s crying. You feel like crying. Maybe you’re yelling. This is dysregulation.
No one is regulated all the time. Not you. Not your kids. Learning how to support yourself, your child, and for your child to learn to support themselves to regulate is one of the biggest gifts we can give our families. Inability to regulate is at the core of almost all psychiatric and mental health issues, so it is worth the time to learn how to co-regulate. It helps everyone!
From the book Consciously Pareting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families
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Click to learn about the 6 month guided journey through Book 1– Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families with Jen Kobrick, HFCE