What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families Series- Day 2

Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families
   Book 1 of the Consciously Parenting series

Our (cute) Parenting Magnifying Glass

Parenting our own children provides a unique opportunity to learn about our early experiences. It puts a magnifying glass on those things that worked well for our own parents and those that didn’t. It allows us to understand how we feel about our own needs and the needs of our children, but only if we allow ourselves to be aware and see the parent-child relationship with new eyes.

From the book Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families

When my son was born, I felt a whole host of feelings that were really unexpected for me. Awe and wonder, but also sadness and sometimes anger. As he grew and reached different developmental stages, I began to see how it was touching on my own experiences.

In the early years, it might be what comes up as your child has needs. Those can be nighttime needs, feeding needs, expression of feelings, and boundaries that need to be put in place. As your child grows and their world expands, it can be about what happens for you when they’re dysregulated or having a bad day. The way our own parents handled these situations, for better or worse, can impact how you show up for your own children.

A Parenting Example with Teens

Recently I had a parent come to see me because she was having a challenge navigating her children’s transitions through their teen years. As we explored the challenges, she realized that no one had been there for her during this time of her own life. Because no one had been there for her, she didn’t know how to be there for her children because no one had been there for her.

She began to feel a great deal of empathy for herself and the needs that were unmet for her younger self and that created the space for her to have more empathy for her children. From there, she could begin to see what was missing for herself and her children and how she could move forward consciously, not recreating the same situation she had been in when she was that age.

With empathy, we can see the things we didn’t get when we were growing up. As we consciously support our children through all their different developmental stages, we have the opportunity to re-parent ourselves and find appropriate ways to get those developmental needs met in present time.


Author

  • Rebecca Thompson Hitt, MS, MFT is the founder and executive director of The Consciously Parenting Project (2007). Rebecca loves supporting individuals and parents to grow themselves up in their current relationship challenges. She delights in empowering people to find peace and connection with their loved ones, supporting the transformation of the way we understand our connections. Her holistic approach, which includes our earliest experiences and nervous system patterns, her gentleness and compassion, and her deep listening without pathologizing, helps us to see ourselves and those we care about with new eyes, supporting the transformation needed in the world starting with our closest relationships. With over 30 years of professional experience working with individuals, couples, and families, in addition to her own personal healing work raising her now young adult sons, Rebecca is dedicated to transforming our relationships stories, one relationship and one family at a time.

    View all posts Holistic Family Therapist

Rebecca Thompson Hitt

Rebecca Thompson Hitt, MS, MFT is the founder and executive director of The Consciously Parenting Project (2007). Rebecca loves supporting individuals and parents to grow themselves up in their current relationship challenges. She delights in empowering people to find peace and connection with their loved ones, supporting the transformation of the way we understand our connections. Her holistic approach, which includes our earliest experiences and nervous system patterns, her gentleness and compassion, and her deep listening without pathologizing, helps us to see ourselves and those we care about with new eyes, supporting the transformation needed in the world starting with our closest relationships. With over 30 years of professional experience working with individuals, couples, and families, in addition to her own personal healing work raising her now young adult sons, Rebecca is dedicated to transforming our relationships stories, one relationship and one family at a time.

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