What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families Series- Day 11

Principle 4: Behaviors occur on a continuum. Behaviors in children (and parents, too) correlate to the parent’s own neurodevelopment and attachment status.
If we did not experience unconditional love and acceptance from our parents, it is nearly impossible for us to give these to our own children unless we have since had a relationship with someone who was able to give those things to us and we were able to receive them.
There are countless stories of children and adults who had one person care about them, whether it was a coach, a teacher, a foster parent, or someone else in the community who took an interest in the person’s life. Indeed, this one caring person can make all the difference! For us as adults, it takes one good relationship with what Greg Baer, author of the book Real Love, calls a “Wise Friend.” This is someone who can help you see things as they actually are and who can love you unconditionally while you connect with your own inner guidance (my words).
From the book Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families

At the same time, we’re not doomed. Just because we didn’t have some of our own developmental needs met does not mean that we are doomed to not meet our children’s developmental needs, either.
Who are the people in your life who are really there for you? Who has been there for you as you consider your lifetime? Begin to see those people and relationships and honor those, while also seeing and acknowledging the ways your needs may not have been met. They’re both true.
And if you are still working through your own early experiences and finding it difficult to really be present with your own child, who else can you call in who can support you and your child? Is there a friend you have who might be able to spend time with your child who can really see your child in a way that you might be struggling to right now? Do you need some extra support for yourself? Check out our no cost support through our Community Healing Story Circles or our 1:1 consulting if you need some extra support. Or check out some of the resources below!
Get the book Consciously Parenting book on Amazon
Click to learn about the 6 month guided journey through Book 1– Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families with Jen Kobrick, HFCE