More importantly for our discussion on feelings is that our feelings can help to guide us on our life journey and especially on our parenting journey. Our feelings can let us know when our life is out of balance, when we have unmet needs that need to be considered, or when something isn’t right with our child and it needs some sort of intervention.
Every day, I hear parents telling me how they feel about what is happening in their lives. They tell me when they’re really concerned about their child’s behavior or when they feel that it isn’t really a problem and will work itself out.
Some of you may call this intuition. I think of it as our Inner Guidance System- much like a GPS for parenting. Whatever you call it, our feelings are an essential part of how we all learn to find our way through our own unique parenting journey. And parents intuitively know when something is wrong, though we may not always know quite what to do about it.
From the book Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families
Feelings are so often discounted as inconvenient. But truly, they are one of our super powers as human beings when we really start to understand them.
When my youngest son started kindergarten, I had really strong feelings come up in me that it wasn’t the right environment for him. He was a super sensitive kiddo who had an amazing imagination and he was in a classroom that didn’t even have recess, let alone playtime. My mama intuition said that I needed to find another place for him where he would thrive.
My strong feelings led me to have conversations with his dad about it. Even though he disagreed with me and thought we should keep him at that school, I explored other options and found another school that was a much better fit for him. My feelings guided me to another option, his dad could see that it would benefit him. So we moved him to the new school and he thrived there.
When we can support our kids in maintaining their own connection to their feelings and their inner guidance system, we are supporting them to stay connected to their own knowing. And that is so helpful as they navigate the ups and downs of life and decisions for themselves.
It may be a challenge if no one supported you in staying connected to your own inner guidance system, so it can be helpful to find others who are learning the same things along with you! Our community Healing Story Circles are a great place for you to have your own inner guidance system validated so that you can do the same for your kids!