Parenting Feelings: Better Relationships in 2 Minutes #2

Feelings. We don’t really know what to do when someone is having really big feelings about something. When I became a parent, I had just about finished my masters in marriage and family therapy. I had been studying attachment and trauma along with what makes a relationship healthy, and I thought I was prepared for parenting.

Ha!

I’m Rebecca Thompson Hitt and this is Better Relationships in 2 minutes.

My son was difficult to soothe as an infant and as he grew, he expressed really intense feelings. I really didn’t know how to help him. I held him and rocked him, trying to figure out what he needed, but I didn’t have a clue what else could be happening for him. Later we discovered he was allergic to many foods and it helped us to understand a little more about what we were seeing, but it still didn’t help us to support him through his big feelings. All I had for tools in my pocket were things like time-out and punishing him to try to stop the feelings and behavior, but it didn’t work. In fact, it seemed to make things worse.

Have you felt like this, too? What happens for you when someone you love is expressing big feelings? Just notice what that’s like for you. Whose feelings are most difficult for you? What do you do when they’re expressed? Is it different when it is sadness vs anger vs happiness?

I’ll be back tomorrow to share more about how we, as a culture, got to this place where we don’t know what to do with feelings and how you can discover more about your own feeling story.

Author

  • Rebecca Thompson Hitt, MS, MFT is the founder of The Consciously Parenting Project (2007) and Thriving Humans (Thrivinghumans.org). For over thirty years, she has walked alongside individuals, couples, and families as they find their way back into relationship with their children, with each other, and with themselves. Her approach reaches beneath behavior to the earliest experiences and nervous system patterns that shape how we connect. With gentleness, deep listening, and no pathologizing, she helps people so see themselves and the ones they love with new eyes. She offers online consultations and groups, and works with people all over the world, supporting the transformation needed in the world starting with our closest relationships. With over 30 years of professional experience working with individuals, couples, and families, Rebecca is dedicated to transforming our relationships stories, one relationship and one family at a time. Rebecca is the author of four books and the mother o...

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Rebecca Thompson Hitt

Rebecca Thompson Hitt, MS, MFT is the founder of The Consciously Parenting Project (2007) and Thriving Humans (Thrivinghumans.org). For over thirty years, she has walked alongside individuals, couples, and families as they find their way back into relationship with their children, with each other, and with themselves. Her approach reaches beneath behavior to the earliest experiences and nervous system patterns that shape how we connect. With gentleness, deep listening, and no pathologizing, she helps people so see themselves and the ones they love with new eyes. She offers online consultations and groups, and works with people all over the world, supporting the transformation needed in the world starting with our closest relationships. With over 30 years of professional experience working with individuals, couples, and families, Rebecca is dedicated to transforming our relationships stories, one relationship and one family at a time. Rebecca is the author of four books and the mother of two young adult sons, whose growing up was a part of her own healing work. Reach her at rebecca@thrivinghumans.org

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