Vulnerability is a word that’s been made popular, or at least part of the conversation, by Brene Brown’s work. Turns out that being vulnerable is also a huge part of the healing process and so today we’re going to be talking about why and how vulnerability is important. And we’ll also be talking about sharing family stories with our children, what that looks like, and why it’s important. I’m Rebecca Thompson Hitt and this is the All Relationships Can Heal Podcast. Today we finish our conversation with Dr. Robert T. Muller, PhD about his book, Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up.Continue
Our third podcast in our series on parenting with trauma centers around the ways we can heal from our own childhoods, from things that have happened to us that are impacting us in our parenting, including some surprising ways that don’t involve talking. Our guest, Dr. Robert T Muller, is the author of the book, Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up: From Avoidance to Recovery and Growth. Dr. Muller, PhD, trained at Harvard, is on faculty at the University of Massachusetts and is currently at York University in Toronto.Continue
Today, we are continuing our conversation today about how parenting is impacted by our own experiences of trauma. These are the moments when we are having a difficult time parenting the way we want to parent, despite trying to shift our behaviors. We’ll be sharing some stories about parents who have been doing their own healing work and what it looked like in their interactions with their kids. Our guest, Dr. Robert T Muller, is the author of the book, Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up: From Avoidance to Recovery and Growth. Dr. Muller, PhD, trained at Harvard, is on faculty at the University of Massachusetts and is currently at York University in Toronto.Continue
When something difficult happens and we’re not “over it” soon enough, we often find ourselves judging our own process. Today we’re going to be talking about those tender places and why compassion is so important. Our guest, Dr. Robert T Muller, is the author of the book, Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up: From Avoidance to Recovery and Growth. Dr. Muller, PhD, trained at Harvard, is on faculty at the University of Massachusetts and is currently at York University in Toronto.Continue
We have all experienced them. They’re the moments when we’re feeling overwhelmed as a parent. Maybe it’s the way your child doesn’t listen to you when you ask them to do something. Or perhaps it is when your child says no to something they need to do. Or when your child isn’t caring as much as you think they should about school, their room, life, etc. Or they’re being disrespectful to you, your partner, or a sibling. And suddenly a switch flips and you’re no longer rational. You might look back on it later and realized that your reaction might have been a little over the top, but regardless, it doesn’t feel good to you. We’re going to be talking about those trigger parenting moments and why it’s important to talk about trauma and our own early overwhelming experiences.Continue
Playfulness and fun are essential parts of life. Our brains are not only really good at learning and processing a lot of information, they’re also good at play. That’s part of our mammalian brains. I’m sure that you’ve seen puppies playing with one another and mother dogs playing with their puppies. Play is a way that we learn and connect with one another. But many of us are really serious and we don’t know how to play. Some of us weren’t really played with as children and some of us didn’t play as children for various reasons. But this way of connecting that’s not about tasks or to do lists is foreign for a lot of us. On our podcast today, we’ll be exploring what fun and play have to do with healing.Continue
After all this talk so far this week about dysregulation and feeling unsettled, which happens when a relationship isn’t going well, we’re going to shift a bit into thankfulness. Finding something to be thankful for makes a huge difference in your body and your ability to regulate yourself! This is not about denying something is going poorly or that there isn’t suffering when there is. It’s easy to get sucked into the bad. Actually, our brains are wired to really be on alert for the bad things. That’s what helps us to avoid painful things in the future. It’s important and it helps keep us alive.
Today, you’ll hear about gratitude and thankfulness and what it has to do with healing relationships!Continue
Wisdom Wednesday is all about the science behind what I’m talking about on the All Relationships Can Heal podcast. I love the research and translating it into usable information for humans to help make life just a little bit better.
Today we’re talking about regulation, which is a term used in nearly every scientific discipline, but until recently was nearly absent from parenting information. Regulation is feeling calm in the body, brain, and nervous system. When the body, brain, and nervous system are calm, we can make good choices about our behavior. Find out the ingredients of regulation to help yourself and your family in this episode!Continue
Time-in has become a bit more common a term over the past 5-10 years and the reason is that our new understanding of growing brains supports it. The old way of thinking about time-out was that when a child misbehaves, they need to go away by themselves and think about what they’ve done. Sounds good in theory and it’s probably what was done to you when you were growing up.
Time out is based on Behaviorism, which is all about how learning happens through conditioning–positive or negative reinforcement. In short, if you reward “good” behavior and punish “bad” behavior, children learn what’s appropriate or not. But this theory is missing three important concepts.
Today is Time-In Tuesday and we’re talking about the idea of Time-in, both for you and your child, instead of time-out and why that matters.
Paying attention to our own experience–our thoughts, our felt experience, and what it feels like in your body, is a big part of mindfulness. It’s how we connect to ourselves, how we know what we need. Many people are disconnected from their bodies, from their needs, and from the needs of others.
Our first step towards mindfulness is to become more aware of ourselves, the feelings in our bodies, the stories we make up about the things that happen, and figuring out what we need. Healing can’t happen without self-awareness, so it is a huge part of All Relationships Can Heal. Today, Rebecca shares a story about personal space and mindfulness.