Originally published on The Consciously Parenting Blog June 1, 2011
Today, I sat with a family in the midst of a time most would call completely overwhelming. Nothing has turned out as they expected – the family they thought they’d have and the experiences they thought they would share as a family have been pulled away, one by one.
Like all of us, they only have this moment.
Yet, unlike most of us, they know the depths of how fleeting and precious this time we have together really is. Because of that, they showed tremendous courage to be completely authentic with themselves and each other, including the deep emotions they’ve had surrounding their baby’s challenges.
The most intimate moments of connection came out of speaking what was absolutely true for each of them. Opening their hearts and becoming completely vulnerable actually allowed them to connect in a deeper way. Walls crumbled. Hearts opened. Tears fell. There wasn’t a dry eye among us, including mine. This is healing.
Words that had gone unspoken were shared. Feelings held back were expressed. And the vulnerable spot in their hearts they once reserved for one another – the expectation of connection that had been covered over by pain and loss – opened just a bit and began to grow. This is healing.
And the baby led the way, teaching us all how to open our hearts, to dig deeper, and to touch our authentic selves. At only a few months old, he had no agenda other than to communicate and to connect deeply with his parents, both of whom are hurting. And maybe he helped them to dig a little deeper into themselves and to move just a little closer to each other in this moment, the only moment we know for sure that we have together.
I felt deeply honored to have shared that moment with them, to watch them come into connection with each other because of their pain, rather than in spite of it. It was about being in the present moment with one another and being where we are without trying to change or fix it. And that’s where healing happens.