Feelings are often misunderstood, and a lot of effort goes into distracting our kids and even sometimes ourselves from our feelings. When we can create the space for our own feelings and our kids’ feelings or the feelings of our loved ones, we actually create more opportunity for healing to happen.Today is Time-In Tuesday and we’re talking about feelings and what they have to do with healing.Continue
So much of what we learn in our families growing up and through cultural norms is that the only way to teach our children the “right” way of doing anything is to bring in some pain. Think about it. When we give a consequence or we punish, we’re bringing in some pain to “help” someone learn a lesson. It may bring about a temporary behavior change, but what is happening to our relationship?
Today is Time-in Tuesday and we’re talking about the things we need to do to shift the way we look at relationships to support the healing that is waiting to happen.Continue
We continue our series about Healthy Gaming. Our conversation moves into family disconnections that can happen around technology. How can we stay connected? How do we support our kids to be healthy gamers and respect everyone’s needs and experiences? What can you do when your child doesn’t show up for dinner that doesn’t involve punishment or unplugging the computer or turning off the internet? Alok (aka Dr. K) and Kruti Kanojia, co-founders of Healthy Gamer are back to share their insights.Continue
Time-in has become a bit more common a term over the past 5-10 years and the reason is that our new understanding of growing brains supports it. The old way of thinking about time-out was that when a child misbehaves, they need to go away by themselves and think about what they’ve done. Sounds good in theory and it’s probably what was done to you when you were growing up.
Time out is based on Behaviorism, which is all about how learning happens through conditioning–positive or negative reinforcement. In short, if you reward “good” behavior and punish “bad” behavior, children learn what’s appropriate or not. But this theory is missing three important concepts.
Today is Time-In Tuesday and we’re talking about the idea of Time-in, both for you and your child, instead of time-out and why that matters.