A boundary is when we say ‘no.’ It might be ‘no’ to your toddler playing in the street or a ‘no’ to an unhealthy relationship. Some people have ‘no’ down really well. Others really struggle with it. But very few have the ‘no’ down with room for feelings and respect. This is an essential part of healthy relationships and boundaries are a critical part of healing relationships. I’m Rebecca Thompson Hitt and this is the All Relationships Can Heal podcast. Today is Wisdom Wednesday and we’re talking about Respectful Boundaries.Continue
Paying attention to our own experience–our thoughts, our felt experience, and what it feels like in your body, is a big part of mindfulness. It’s how we connect to ourselves, how we know what we need. Many people are disconnected from their bodies, from their needs, and from the needs of others.
Our first step towards mindfulness is to become more aware of ourselves, the feelings in our bodies, the stories we make up about the things that happen, and figuring out what we need. Healing can’t happen without self-awareness, so it is a huge part of All Relationships Can Heal. Today, Rebecca shares a story about personal space and mindfulness.
Boundaries are a foundation of our homes, and many well-meaning parents believe (mistakenly) that parenting consciously means that we don’t have any boundaries or limits for our children. So today I wanted to take a few minutes and talk about boundaries and what that means here at Consciously Parenting.Continue
When your child is doing something that makes no sense to you, you make up a story to help make sense of it. Sometimes this story is helpful. Sometimes it’s not. We all do this. And it happened to us when we were growing up, too – our parent(s) made up stories about our behaviors.Continue
So many behaviors are a mystery, especially with our kids. It often seems like they were born a certain way with interesting idiosyncrasies. Most of the time their idiosyncrasies are cute and we don’t worry too much about them. Sometimes they’re annoying. And sometimes they’re worrisome and have an impact on our relationship.Continue
If we say yes to everything, we’re really saying no to everything because we can’t do it all. No one can.We’re taught to not say no growing up, in subtle and less subtle ways, and that saying yes is good.Continue
We’ve all had them. Some are small, others overwhelming. If you’re here, you’re a step ahead in that you’re aware that you have them. Parenting brings them on in full force. We’re talking about triggers with guest parenting expert Carrie Contey.Continue
What are the origins of your concepts of love and respect? Can you separate the way you desire to parent from unhelpful past models? Much of traditional parenting rests on a hierarchy of power and control. Love is a reward, based on meeting certain conditions. Respect is born of fear. If children fear their parents, they will respect them and obey them, hoping to earn their love by meeting their parent’s conditions.Continue
When we recognize that our children have reasons for those upsets (even if we don’t really get it), it gives us the opportunity to connect and actually help make it better this time, and the next time, too. Learning the skills to regulate and create more connection in the moment helps everyone to feel better, no matter how old we are and no matter what we call it.Continue
We’ve always schooled through the year, often doing more school work in the summer than at other times of the year just because it’s so hot we’d rather be inside, and because the local parks and places are more busy when public school is out.
This year, I thought we’d try something different and take a summer break. I’d seen so many friends talking about summer vacation plans, and I’ve gotten sucked in to those reminiscent lists of classic activities from the childhood of every 80s kid. I don’t want my kids to miss out on amazing summertime memories and I thought we’d try having our own summer break.
It didn’t go well.Continue