What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families Series- Day 16

Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families
Book 1 of the Consciously Parenting series
Judgments and Interpretations
My son bared his teeth and moved his head in toward mine so that our foreheads nearly touched. For a split second, I thought he was going to bang into my head. With that realization dawning, I decided he was being playful and just moving in to kiss me. I reached toward him and kissed him. He then smiled and told me how much he loved me.

A few minutes later, after he had gone back off to the other room to play, it occurred to me how differently that situation would have gone if I had decided that his action was a threat to me. How many times do our interpretations of our child’s behavior lead us down the path to more disconnection?

From the book Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families

We are constantly interpreting the behaviors of others through our own lens. When there’s no communication specific to what is happening, we go into our own interpretation of what is happening based on our previous experiences. And that interpretation might have nothing to do with what is actually happening in present time.

In the above example, I had lots of experiences with my brothers growing up where I would have gotten hurt in a situation like that. And I also had experiences with his older brother where I did sometimes get hurt. Part of my brain was ready to protect myself. Because I was able to pause in that moment, things shifted. I stayed in present time instead of going into my own interpretation from my past experiences of what was happening. There were no words from him to express what was happening for him and it would have been easy to say that he was trying to hurt me and act as if that were true.

When we can pause before we jump to conclusions and interpretations from our own story, there’s room for what might actually be happening in present time. And that may or may not be what you think!

 

  • Rebecca is the founder of The Consciously Parenting Project, LLC, and author of 3 books (Consciously Parenting: What it really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families, Creating Connection: Essential Tools for Growing Families through Conception, Birth and Beyond, and Nurturing Connection: What Parents Need to Know about Emotional Expression and Bonding), numerous classes and recordings, and the former co-host of a radio show, True North Parents.

Rebecca Thompson Hitt

Rebecca is the founder of The Consciously Parenting Project, LLC, and author of 3 books (Consciously Parenting: What it really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families, Creating Connection: Essential Tools for Growing Families through Conception, Birth and Beyond, and Nurturing Connection: What Parents Need to Know about Emotional Expression and Bonding), numerous classes and recordings, and the former co-host of a radio show, True North Parents.

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