Making Room for Feelings: A Story of Connection

I can look back on that time now and see so many things. That whole hindsight thing is great later, but it wasn’t so helpful in the moment my son was so upset.

I can see now that he was dysregulated.
I know that within his body and nervous system, he was overstimulated from watching television. I knew then that he had a hard time with the transition, but I didn’t really understand that it was a full body issue. I thought he was just being difficult and just trying to get his way. I can see now that it was much more than that.

I can also see that he needed a lot of support to learn to calm his body and nervous system. I didn’t know how to do that, then. I didn’t know how to calm my own system then, either. So in those moments ,we were both flailing in so many ways.

He needed me.

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I am here, I am present, I am open, I am ready.

The first time I entered a healing circle, I had my hackles up and cynicism was at one hundred percent. I did not intend on venting to a bunch of strangers or finding comfort in a group sharing situation. Honestly, attending a healing circle with strangers over the computer sounded even more difficult. By putting all that trepidation aside (and remembering that I love the healing circle leader), I found a valuable resource in a healing circle.

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Podcast Episode #42 – Raising Boys Q&A: Wiping, Connection, & Respect

I’m excited to welcome Nathan McTague back as we discuss some questions that listeners sent in. We heard from many of you that you enjoyed our discussion about raising emotionally-healthy boys, and we hope you enjoy the Q&A as well. We’ll be spending the next three episodes on listener questions.

In this episode, we start with early life and the developmental process that happens, and weaving in empathy and connection as our children grow into adults.

Question: Why can’t my kid just wipe?

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Podcast Episode #40 – Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys (part 1)

How can we best support our boys when they are young and as they grow into men? There are many cultural messages for boys around feelings, so how do we navigate that territory? How do we stay respectful of our boys’ biology and neurobiology? We want to make sure we are creating the space for their emotions and really respecting that they’re different than we are as women and moms.

In this episode, Rebecca talks with Nathan McTague of The Center for Emotional Education. They discuss how emotion is actually processed in the brain, the real needs of children who are experiencing intense feelings, and how testosterone causes all kinds of “wonkiness” for teenage boys.

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Podcast Episode #37 – Gun Violence: Supporting Your Kids

Kids may or may not have words for what’s happening for them or what they’re worried about, but they will show you that something is bothering them through their behavior. They may be more aggressive than usual. They may seem sullen or quieter than normal. They may seem to have more energy. They may start to get sick more frequently or more severely. Our culture may label these things as misbehaviors or unrelated to things that have happened, but I’ve learned that most of the time they’re actually signs of stress, of a story that they can’t make sense of, or something that they need more support to handle.

Today we’re talking about how to support our kids and understand their experience of gun violence in our country.

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Podcast Episode #36 – Gun Violence: Finding Your Mama Bear

Finding your Mama Bear is about your perception of safety and doing something. It’s about the need to keep our children safe and how that impacts our nervous systems.

Find ways to be proactive – whether that’s pulling your child out of school until the problems are properly addressed at least in the short term, finding programs or efforts that you support that you feel are moving things in the right direction – whatever that means to you.

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Podcast Episode #35 – Gun Violence as a Collective Trauma

The collective trauma that many Americans have experienced in bearing witness to such tragedies in schools and other public spaces, that either are part of their daily environment or resemble them closely, has caused many people to develop an ongoing defensive stance that can resemble the post-traumatic response of actual trauma survivors. Listen in to learn more about how our nervous systems are responding to this trauma.

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