I want my kids to be helpful

My kid won’t help! 5 tips for creating a culture of working together.

“My son refuses to help out. He isn’t very independent. He wants me to do a lot for him and so I do. But I resent it.”

It brought up a great question. How do parents navigate those situations when we need our child to help out without resorting to yelling, hitting, or threatening? How can we consciously parent through it?

disconnected

4 things you can do today when you feel disconnected from your child

“I’m so upset! He’s working completely against me. No matter what I do, he continues to speak to me disrespectfully. I’ve tried punishing him, but he doesn’t seem to care. What am I supposed to do? I want a good relationship with my son, but he’s making it impossible!”

Maybe you can relate to this mom’s struggle. She had tried all the usual suggestions, but things hadn’t improved. She had no idea what to do next. Many parents feel this way and find themselves at the end of their rope.

I’ve been there as a parent myself. I wanted to parent from a loving place, but my kid’s behaviors were driving me crazy. Like a really bad kind of crazy. I didn’t know what to do.

Overwhelmed mom learns to

Overwhelmed Mom Learns to “Validate and Relocate” (guest post)

I did not realize what exactly made me feel so often overwhelmed by my 3 young children (a 4-year-old and 18-month-old twins), or how my actions could be impacting their behavior. I was careful from early on not to build dependence playing with me, hoping they would learn to play on their own, which was generally successful. So I was very confused about why they usually just wanted to be held, worn, or sit on my lap instead of play. It was impacting me and making feel touched out too much of the time. I couldn’t just leave them alone without supervision to get a break, and it wasn’t good for them to have a mom with no energy or patience, either. Something needed to change.

Needs-ours-vs-theirs

Needs: Ours vs. Theirs? Is there a better way?

“I’m really struggling with nursing my 2 year old,” the mother confided. “I can’t say this to very many people because most people just say that I should wean. But that doesn’t feel right to me, either. So I nurse her even though I really don’t feel like it and I resent her for it. I want to meet Sarah’s needs and I want to be the best parent I can for my daughter, but this isn’t working for me.”

vastness-FB

When Families are Estranged: What to Tell Your Kids

  Question: We had a huge issue with repeated disrespect and abuse from my father and we have stopped having contact completely as a result. My kids don’t understand why they can’t see their grandfather anymore and I’m not really sure how to talk to them about it. They’re still really young and telling the Read More

Our-real-beliefs-about-connection

Our Real Beliefs About Connection

Your child is on the playground and falls. She isn’t injured badly, but clearly the wind has been knocked out and it scared her. What do you do? How do you feel in that moment? Are you stifling your own fears? (She could really have gotten badly injured!!) Are you feeling disconnected? (She shouldn’t have been doing that and she deserves to get hurt.) Are you proud because she brushes herself off and goes back to playing? Are you annoyed when she bursts into tears and comes running over to you?