Over the years, I have fallen in love with different philosophies of education. I love to research and find other ways of doing things and truly believe there is no one right path for even one child throughout his or her formative years. As parents, it is our responsibility to help find the best option for our child at any given time, depending upon what is available where we live, and what we all need as a family.
So when you or your child has fast-tracked to red, keep in mind that, deep down, there’s a feeling of not being safe. Does knowing this change how you feel about what’s happening? Instead of asking what you can do to make a behavior stop, ask, “What do you need to feel safe? What does my child need to feel safe?” And see what happens.
Rebecca and Lianne are back again this week to talk about how stories can help with the small hurts and disappointments of everyday life. Story Healing isn’t just a technique to be used when there is trauma, but it can be an effective tool to help move through normal tantrums and upsets.
Maybe you can relate to my own tantrum story. This wasn’t my best parenting day and I’d like to say that it was also my worst, but it wasn’t. It’s a snapshot. A moment of time. And you probably have them, too.
This post is an excerpt from Chapter 2 of Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families. It also includes a video of Rebecca explaining the Brain Stoplight.
Comment from reader: I would love to have meetings in my community where parents can gather together to support each other in their consciously parenting efforts and even to offer information and guidance to parents who feel that things just aren’t going the way they had hoped.
We all grew up in the Old Story of parenting where love, respect and boundaries all had different meanings than the ones we’re trying to create for our own families and our own children. As we work to do things differently, we often get caught up in the Old Story that we don’t even know we’re telling ourselves and are recreating in our families. It takes becoming more conscious of this old story so that you can release it and embrace the New Story you’re co-creating with your family.
When we recognize that our children have reasons for those upsets (even if we don’t really get it), it gives us the opportunity to connect and actually help make it better this time, and the next time, too. Learning the skills to regulate and create more connection in the moment helps everyone to feel better, no matter how old we are and no matter what we call it.
When you have little ones, there is a lot of talk about how “it’s just a phase” and “this too shall pass,” whether it’s about picky eating, tantrums, or some other behavior deemed inappropriate in our society. While it is true that many of those behaviors do pass with time, I definitely wasn’t expecting to still witness full toddler-style tantrums with my child at 8 years old.
Moms’ Night Out! A coveted part of many moms’ lives. You get to take a shower, put on some makeup, and wear grown-up clothes. And the best part? You get to talk to grown-ups – and ones you like, for that matter. Here I was in my dress that finally fit me again, babysitter engaged, Read More
Whenever I ask a group of parents what they want for their children, the topic of respect inevitably comes up. Parents want their children to be respected, but parents also want to feel respected by their children. Many parents grew up not feeling respected themselves and most parents, it turns out, grew up having at least one experience (most had many experiences) of not being respected by an adult in their life.
Everywhere we look nowadays, children are being diagnosed and labeled with disorders based on their behavior, with acronyms being placed near their names. “Johnny has ADD, that’s why he can’t sit still.” “Sherry has RAD and that’s why she can’t attach to us.” “Vinny is on the (autism) spectrum.” But how does it help to label our children?