In Time Rather Than On Time

I took the time to do our morning connection rituals with both my daughters. I stopped hurrying us about and took the time to admire their choices of clothing. And by the time we got into the car, we were back to being our calm selves and plugged into one another. We arrived, late, yet in time with one another.

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Learning to Navigate Emotional Upsets and Tantrums at Any Age

When we recognize that our children have reasons for those upsets (even if we don’t really get it), it gives us the opportunity to connect and actually help make it better this time, and the next time, too. Learning the skills to regulate and create more connection in the moment helps everyone to feel better, no matter how old we are and no matter what we call it.

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Choosing My Child Over Moms’ Night Out

That’s when it happened.

I had the car door almost closed when I saw my 3-year-old running out to me with tears streaming down her face. “Don’t go, Mama!”

My heart felt crushed.

I had a choice to make. Do I close the door and be off to have much needed time sans kids? Or do I get out of the car and tend to my sobbing child?

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Respect

Whenever I ask a group of parents what they want for their children, the topic of respect inevitably comes up. Parents want their children to be respected, but parents also want to feel respected by their children. Many parents grew up not feeling respected themselves and most parents, it turns out, grew up having at least one experience (most had many experiences) of not being respected by an adult in their life.

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Behavior Diagnosis: Does it Help or Hurt?

Everywhere we look nowadays, children are being diagnosed and labeled with disorders based on their behavior, with acronyms being placed near their names. “Johnny has ADD, that’s why he can’t sit still.” “Sherry has RAD and that’s why she can’t attach to us.” “Vinny is on the (autism) spectrum.” But how does it help to label our children?

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I Choose Love

My minister last week at church talked about having a mantra, or a statement that we could say to ourselves when we needed to shift our focus away from fear and back into the present moment, when we were reacting from our past instead of responding in the way we wanted to respond. Yes, I choose love. I choose to parent from a place of love, not from fear. I choose love.

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Story Healing 101

When we start to connect with our children’s stories- both through the telling and by listening in a different way to what they’re sharing about their stories- we open up to a new kind of relationship with our children. Sometimes the storytelling really helps a child to sleep more soundly. Sometimes transitions during the daytime get easier. But, new possibilities for understanding and changing behavior patterns almost always begin to emerge.

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