Boundaries are a foundation of our homes, and many well-meaning parents believe (mistakenly) that parenting consciously means that we don’t have any boundaries or limits for our children. So today I wanted to take a few minutes and talk about boundaries and what that means here at Consciously Parenting.
When your child is doing something that makes no sense to you, you make up a story to help make sense of it. Sometimes this story is helpful. Sometimes it’s not. We all do this. And it happened to us when we were growing up, too – our parent(s) made up stories about our behaviors. Read More
So many behaviors are a mystery, especially with our kids. It often seems like they were born a certain way with interesting idiosyncrasies. Most of the time their idiosyncrasies are cute and we don’t worry too much about them. Sometimes they’re annoying. And sometimes they’re worrisome and have an impact on our relationship.
If we say yes to everything, we’re really saying no to everything because we can’t do it all. No one can.We’re taught to not say no growing up, in subtle and less subtle ways, and that saying yes is good.
We’ve all had them. Some are small, others overwhelming. If you’re here, you’re a step ahead in that you’re aware that you have them. Parenting brings them on in full force. We’re talking about triggers with guest parenting expert Carrie Contey.
What are the origins of your concepts of love and respect? Can you separate the way you desire to parent from unhelpful past models? Much of traditional parenting rests on a hierarchy of power and control. Love is a reward, based on meeting certain conditions. Respect is born of fear. If children fear their parents, they will respect them and obey them, hoping to earn their love by meeting their parent’s conditions.
When we recognize that our children have reasons for those upsets (even if we don’t really get it), it gives us the opportunity to connect and actually help make it better this time, and the next time, too. Learning the skills to regulate and create more connection in the moment helps everyone to feel better, no matter how old we are and no matter what we call it.
We’ve always been a homeschool family, and we love it. I love the flexibility of being able to travel and visit theme parks during the week (we live about an hour from Orlando), and generally do things however and whenever I want to do them. We are eclectic homeschoolers, taking bits and pieces from different Read More
What is a “normal parent”? Can conscious parents look to our current collective culture for attached parent models?
Studies are showing the number of children experiencing healthy emotional attachment are “abysmally low” for a modern and “advanced” society. Is parenting keeping pace with progress?
Parents today need courage to step away from the mainstream practices that are failing to foster healthy attachment.
Moms’ Night Out! A coveted part of many moms’ lives. You get to take a shower, put on some makeup, and wear grown-up clothes. And the best part? You get to talk to grown-ups – and ones you like, for that matter. Here I was in my dress that finally fit me again, babysitter engaged, Read More
Whenever I ask a group of parents what they want for their children, the topic of respect inevitably comes up. Parents want their children to be respected, but parents also want to feel respected by their children. Many parents grew up not feeling respected themselves and most parents, it turns out, grew up having at least one experience (most had many experiences) of not being respected by an adult in their life.
Having dinner with my aunt recently forced me to revisit my boundary issues. You know the boundaries I am talking about, the lines that should be drawn in situations you aren’t comfortable with, like say uprooting your family of five to help someone else with their vacation plans. “I need you to live in my Read More
Christy Farr, The Unruly Woman, joins Rebecca Thompson Hitt of The Consciously Parenting Project to talk about boundaries. We all have those situations that are uncomfortable and call for some sort of sanity-saving boundary. Maybe it’s just saying no to Uncle Bob. But how do we even know what’s really true for us? Join us in this episode to connect with yourself and find your own edges.
I kept pulling and yanking against him like those darned Chinese Handcuffs, for nearly half an hour. And my fingers were clearly still stuck inside. The child wasn’t dressed, lunches weren’t packed, and we were at a stalemate.
Finally, I had a moment of clarity. I let go of the outcome in that second- let go of all that needed to be done. I stopped struggling. We were probably going to be late anyway. I shifted from what I needed to something that was important and fun for him, connecting with him rather than my own agenda.
There is no right or wrong choice in schools (homeschool, private school, public, etc.); but after doing all of them, I realized for me and my kids, life experience was more than great planned vacations that didn’t happen often enough, or being creative with your curriculum. For me, school was about community and the opportunities random people provide. I may have failed at homeschooling, but I realized that every family is different and we all have individual needs.