I'm so sorry for your loss
I had an early ultrasound with both of mine... actually two with Allen because the first was at 6wks and they didn't get a good read of the HB since it was so early. So he had one at 6wks and one at 8wks, and Alexa had one at 7wks. I was under the care of an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) since I took fertility meds to conceive, so I had to work within their system until I was released, and the healthy u/s with solid HB was the way to do that.
So yes, I had ultrasounds, and the reason was to count babies, mostly, and to get out of the RE office.
I chose not to have any more ultrasounds, since I had zero risk factors and no intuition that anything was wrong. Had I had either of those, I would have weighed the pros and cons at that point.
I don't think we really know what the risks are, but for me I am more comfortable doing as little as possible. I would not choose to end a pregnancy based on the results of an u/s or screening test (I decline those as well) so, again without symptoms or intuition of something wrong, we just don't get them.
I really enjoyed being surprised at the sex of both of our babies, at birth, and don't think I could resist finding out if I were "peeking" in there halfway through! Resisting the temptation is another reason, I suppose.
It's a very personal decision and I understand many reasons on both sides. I'm definitely glad they are available for those who need them, and I definitely think they are overused and possibly even wreckless when it comes to the 4D boutique ultrasound type places.