Slowing down to connect

[erikashannon]

HI Friends,
I am currently taking the LEvel 1 BC Class with Wilma and wanted to post a question here and see what help and ideas you all might have. I am fairly new to the idea of the 10-20-10. I would like to spend the 10-20-10 with my son who is 8 yrs old but I am a little afraid about how to suggest it to him. What ideas do you have about how I can explain the 10-20-10 to him and what types of things do you each do during those times to connect? I know these might seem like basic questions but I am afraid because tight now he wants to watch TV or play his DS in the am after he is all ready to go to school. How do I say to him that those activities are not connecting type activities and what other things can I offer? The same issue happens when he gets home from school - he wants to "chil out" or watch TV. I know that I have a strong reaction to TV and electronics because growing up my Dad used TV to numb out and not connect with me or my siblings. Any help or ideas would be appreciated.
Warmly,
Erika

[LindaR]

Erika, good for you to wanting to make a change. You might want to consider easing into it gently. Instead of expecting him to stop an activity that he enjoys, just sit and watch TV with him. Be together. I suspect that over time he'll be less and less interested in the TV and more and more interested in you and spending time focusing on him.

I can't envision ever telling my kids that's what I'm doing. :-)

[Rebecca]

You can bring it up and just say, "I'd really like to spend some time with you. When would you like to do that? We can do anything you want to do." The idea isn't to let them know that "now I'm going to spend time with you and you can't do what you want to do...", but rather that 10-20-10 is something for us to keep in mind and strive for. Stay focused on the goal of creating connection and spending fun time together. Relax about it, stay present, and you'll have some clarity about what needs to happen.