Nick
01-09-2008, 05:12 AM
I'm a new member so this may have been raised before. If so, apologies. I just wanted to share something that our school (we're in England) has done that is so helpful for my 8-year-old adopted son. He came home at 3 and has had a lot of behavioural difficulties. Of course, in one way his behaviour gets him the attention and security he craves. It is we on the other end of it who have the difficulties, but we are all trying to help him heal.
Anyway, since September, school has begun a simple but hugely effective system. Before class starts, my son has to go and find a particular teacher. She isn't in any other way involved in his education, so there is no "baggage". She has a form and asks him very seriously how he feels and what kind of a morning he thinks he is going to have. He briefly tells her and she solemnly writes it down. The whole thing takes less than 5 minutes. The same happens at lunchtime, before the long (and sometimes difficult) break, and at the end of school. At the last meeting, he is asked how he feels the day has been for him. If he is happy about how things have gone, he gets a sticker on his form or on his chest. If he likes (and he often does) he can then take the form to show the headteacher. She will say something like, "Wow, that's wonderful. How does that make you feel?"
This really simple system has been great. He is being encouraged to be responsible for his behaviour, to think about how he could do things better when there is the odd problem. He feels seen and heard and secure. We now very rarely have the awful, "Could we have a word?" when I pick him up and he himself is happy to tell me how the day has been, even if there have been minor difficulties.
This was a school-initiated idea and I am proud and pleased that they have so taken on board his difficulties.
Anyway, since September, school has begun a simple but hugely effective system. Before class starts, my son has to go and find a particular teacher. She isn't in any other way involved in his education, so there is no "baggage". She has a form and asks him very seriously how he feels and what kind of a morning he thinks he is going to have. He briefly tells her and she solemnly writes it down. The whole thing takes less than 5 minutes. The same happens at lunchtime, before the long (and sometimes difficult) break, and at the end of school. At the last meeting, he is asked how he feels the day has been for him. If he is happy about how things have gone, he gets a sticker on his form or on his chest. If he likes (and he often does) he can then take the form to show the headteacher. She will say something like, "Wow, that's wonderful. How does that make you feel?"
This really simple system has been great. He is being encouraged to be responsible for his behaviour, to think about how he could do things better when there is the odd problem. He feels seen and heard and secure. We now very rarely have the awful, "Could we have a word?" when I pick him up and he himself is happy to tell me how the day has been, even if there have been minor difficulties.
This was a school-initiated idea and I am proud and pleased that they have so taken on board his difficulties.