Hands tied at times

[dolphins]

I love reading these stories, helful techniques being done, Q & A's, and so on.... The attachment pieces that are applied or being done, some or LOTS shall I say are known as the DO NOT Do list of rules and regs for fostering....the ones that go way beyond us taking actions out of the fear based by getting down to their level and such....the ones that go way into the part of healing the pieces that were not provided when they were an infant, or toddler...6 years old, OR older....what can we do for attachment connections?

SO many, many heart breaking times I feel my hands are tied.

[wdvance]

I have been a foster parent for over 12 years and trained foster and adoptive parents for 7. The last 3 years I have really focused on BCLC in my trainings. The only part that I have had to delete from trainings was the co-sleeping piece. Are there other aspects you are referring to?
Wilma:confused:

[dolphins]

Not really - thanks

[greenbeanbanshee]

Wow. I know what you mean. There were so many times I worried about what the "experts" would say about what I was doing at home with my kids. There is so much fear in our county. What they told me to do was not what I felt like I should be doing in my heart. So there definitely came a point where I had to be true to my own intentions. I didn't just want to be a transitory place for my boy to land and then move away from again. I wanted to be his forever family. That meant that at some point I just had to forget what "they" said and move forward with how I wanted to raise this child.

The things that you can do that will make a difference, without rocking the boat, is just what we are talking about in our classes. By being able to be with your son in a loving relationship, which means seeing him and his behaviors differently than what "they" have taught you to see. Hold him, rock him. Talk to him. Just be there with him everyday. Think about what you needed when you were a child and give him that. Recognize your own fears in that relationship and try to parent outside of them, which means understanding what's in your bottom drawer and learning to open it slowly.

You are already doing so many things exactly right. I believe that you will be a success story. I have said it before, but it bears repeating....any decision made in love is the right decision. I believe that. :hug

~Bethany

[dolphins]

YES! My heart says one thing VS the "them". Thanks

[jen0608]

Well they're too young, that's what it is, but hope that wouldn't affect the kid's emotions...