The question of school

[Rebecca]

I was just talking with a neighbor with a 4 year-old who is a stay-at-home mom. Her daughter will be old enough for kindergarten in the fall, but she is really struggling with the decision about sending her child to school or keeping her home. She doesn't feel qualified to teach her own child, but is really unhappy with the school she is zoned for.

I thought it was a good topic to bring up because I have heard many, many families struggle with this. What does my child really need? Am I doing a disservice if I don't put her in school? How would I be able to teach everything my child needs to learn? What about socialization?

What decisions have you made with regard to your child's education? Are you happy with your decision? If your child goes to school, how did you decide which school to send your child to? If you homeschool, how did you make that decision?

Also, recognize that some families will always send their children to school, others will always homeschool, and some will follow what their children need in any given year. Some good friends of ours, who are both teachers, have homeschooled and sent their children to school at different times over the course of their school careers. Two have now graduated from high school successfully and the last is now a sophomore in high school. They did what worked best for their family and their children in any given year.

I realize that some families have fewer choices in this issue, as staying at home is not an option. How have you worked through the school issue? What choices did you make regarding your child's education?

[Sharonanne]

Rebecca is apparently eavesdropping on my conversations with Lianne. We were JUST talking about this yesterday. :)

Keeping in mind that Joey is only two and a half, and that by the time she is "school aged", all this might change, here's the basic gyst of our discussion.

She is so creative, imaginative, and loves learning new things. She's not big on structure, and seems to enjoy switching things up on us. ;) For example, just when I think we've got a bed time routine down, and she's been going to bed at around the same time consistently for a week or two, she'll suddenly decide to stay up till 1am! LOL She definitely keeps us on our toes. She enjoys time with other children, but is, of course, learning exactly what that means as far as sharing and cooperating are concerned.

Because of her creativity, her curiousity and her genuine interest in so many things, I really feel she'd be an ideal candidate for homeschooling.

Because of her natural sense of chaos and disorder ;) I think she'd be stifled in school a bit. I understand the need to learn control and discipline and all the other things that a structured classroom could offer her, but by the same token, I feel that a lot of that is developed with age.

So, yeah, all that to say that I'm basically all aboard the homeschooling wagon, for as long as it seems to be a good idea for Joey. Here are my hurdles, and I am open to any suggestions for dealing with these.

First, I work full time outside of the house. It is possible in the near future that I'll be cutting down my hours to part time. I'm hopeful for that, but it depends on a few things that I don't necessarily have control over. I get home every day around 4:30/5pm. Will I have the TIME for homeschooling?

I am going to have an infant thrown into this mix, in another month and a half. When Joey is "school aged" this baby will be about 2-3. How is that dynamic going to work. Will I be able to give her the attention she'll need to adequately learn the things she needs to learn?

Finally; my husband is pretty much against homeschooling. I believe that this is because the only adult products of homeschooling that he knows are our brother in law and his siblings. And none of them are exactly what we want our children to grow up to be. I think he needs to meet more adults who were successfully homeschooled, who have not been to jail, for example.

He has also expressed to me that he's concerned that, since neither of us are "teachers", we'd be inadequate to teach Joey. He's said (paraphrasing here) that teachers go to school to learn how to teach and neither of us have done that. We don't know the "psychology behind learning". When my husband uses a phrase like "psychology behind learning" I know it's something he's put some thought into! :D

That being said, I do still think that if he had the opportunity to meet with other adult graduates of homeschooling, who are leading what he'd define as a successful life, he'd be more than willing to give homeschooling another look. Especially since we've had several conversations about a certain teacher we know and how we'd never trust her with our child's brain ;)

So, to answer your question, Rebecca, we haven't made any choices at all regarding our child's education, and I'm open to any and all observations and suggestions to help us find what's right for us. :)

[Lianne]

I can tell you, Sha, as someone who went to school "to learn how to teach" LOL I've spent a good chunk of my parenting career so far having to unlearn many things I was taught. So don't give too much credit to a college education in education when it comes to homeschooling. It isn't helping me much. LOL The developmental stuff I learned, sure. But the actual teacher-y stuff? No way.

Our plan right now is to homeschool. I foresee an eclectic mix with some structure and much unschooling. I hope to be able to just follow my kids in how they learn and what they're interested in and provide lots of opportunities for learning.

[Rebecca]

I just wanted to second Lianne's observation of having to unlearn what I learned getting my education degree. What I've found for my son is that what works best for him has nothing to do with what I learned in school. Much of my understanding has come from what I've read post-education degree. Education is very political, so many of the things that are deemed important actually aren't when it comes to what your child needs to know.

What are your goals for your child? Do you want them to be really good at filling in the blanks and taking standardized tests, or do you want her to be able to think and understand numbers and ENJOY learning. One of the saddest things I had a parent say to me about her incredibly sweet son who was in my 5th grade class was that this was the FIRST year that he looked forward to coming to school! It was his 6th year of school and he had hated going all that time! I felt so sad for him. I wasn't a very conventional teacher then, which is why I didn't last in the public schools.

One of the best things I've read about homeschoolers is that Universities like Harvard actually seek out homeschool graduates because they think unconventionally! And that no matter what the method of homeschooling (formal curriculum or unschooler), homeschooled children score better on tests and do better than their public/private school counterparts. That blew me away!

Just as a caveat to that last part, the best thing parents who are sending their children to school can do (because it really isn't an option for all of us...) is to be involved and proactive. Choose an environment that is the best fit and be an advocate for your child! I'm sure Ryan would be happy to expand on this if someone asked him to in the education forum!

I have met parents who work full and part time and homeschool. It is more work, but you can cover the material in about 2 hours that it takes 6 hours to cover in school. There's a mom in this group who works, so maybe we can get her to comment. She also has a baby.

As far as your husband goes, learning about it together and setting out to make the best decision for your daughter together is the best plan. If you aren't on the same page/team, it makes it really rough. There are many great resources about homeschooling. Hopefully, someone will jump in and suggest some!

Hopefully, others will jump in with their own suggestions and experiences!