Male Call

[Teresa]

Any chance that there is a man out there that might be able to facilitate one of the teleconference classes for men? Or is there anyone interested in organizing a Dad's Retreat? Our family is in desperate need and from the sounds of it, others are too. I am happy to organize and coordiante the logistics if anyone can come up with a male leader and support people.

[kmjjer2911]

Teresa,
what a great idea!!!!! My husband would gladly participate. He would not be able to facilitate or lead it though.

Where do you live - if I may ask? We are in NC so really need things within driving distance for a retreat - short on funds now.

Keep us posted!!
Kathy

[Teresa]

I'm in San Diego and I definitely know all about watching the pennies since hubby has been unemployed for almost 7 months now. Maybe we could do a West Coast and East Coast version!
Teresa

[dkreynolds]

As I read so many of the posts, I really become aware of how blessed our family truly is. We live in Pa and get to work with a wonderful Post trained therapist, Eric Guy. Eric works with Heather often, and conducts Retreats along with trainings all over the country. In fact I will be attending a Parent Retreat at the end of the month in Pittsburgh, Pa. with Eric. I cannot speak for him, but if someone was able to work up something, he may be willing to conduct a retreat for you. My husband attended a previous retreat with me and it was empowering and changed our lives and on somedays he does a better job at following the model then I do.

All the best!

[kmjjer2911]

Teresa,
Wish you were in our area!

My husband was laid off 6 months ago. He was working for a very large home-building company - as an estimator. They have now laid off probably 40% of the company. His job in particular was not needed as the deman for high-end homes has gone down hill. He is trying to start his own business but we will not see income until probably June of 2009. So we are hanging on by a thread.

Guess what? My son has been doing weekly lemonade stands - earns about $15 in an hour after he pays me back for supplies. Last week he took me to see a movie! He can only handle about an hour doing the sale. But he is great - he does cartwheels and waves to get people to stop! There is a toy that he wants and he needs to earn $40 before buying it. (We have never done allowance - could never afford it and can't for sure now. But it is teaching the children really good skills about spending wisely.)

Kathy

[kmjjer2911]

Darlene,
That is a good idea. There is probably only one other family in NC that I know of doing BCLC. There would probably be a large number in the Virginia area as I think that there are many trained counselors in Virginia recommended by Brian Post.

Anyone in Virginia willing to coordinate?

Kathy

[greenbeanbanshee]

Don't forget that the husbands have to really want to go. It can't be the wives choice or it loses the value and understanding. So, are you husbands asking for something like this?

[Teresa]

Good point Bethany! There seem to be husbands out there who are not at all on board and would not want to go but I think there are at least a few (maybe a dozen from the message board) that would want to go. I know my husband wants to help but is scared of failing, scared that he doesn't know how to do it, and most of all scared of what is inside himself. If he knew it would be a safe place with other dads with the same struggles, I know he would be willing to go. Heck, at Parenting Boot Camp when I wanted to leave, he was the one who insisted that we stay (that was after my 1st time with "mat" and before his).:)

[kmjjer2911]

Hi!

I talked to my husband about it and he would attend a class or retreat. The main concern now for him is finances so it would have to be within driving distance so that leaves us with the east coast preferably Virginia area.

He has had some counseling experiences and said he would be open to meeting other fathers going through this. He said Heather's call with two fathers was helpful.

(p.s. my dh and son had a great time connecting before bed. They discovered that they both love the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. Our son saw his first ones at gym camp this week. So after doing silly "man" talk about cartoons, our son snuggled in deep to fall asleep beside daddy - so cute. They needed a "fun" time after a difficult night last night. I personally don't care for slapstick comedy....so it was fun to hear them laughing across the hallway. AND, I read to my daughter for and hour and with my funny expresions of reading - she too had a deep belly laugh for over 10 minutes. She kept asking me to read and re-read the funny part.)

It was so good to hear our family laugh tonight - yea!!

Kathy

Kathy

[fromfeartolove]

You might want to check out the CD called,
"The Emotionally Regulated Man: At Home and in the Office" done by Eric Guy and Juli Alvarado. You can order it through Eric's website Centerforvictory.com.
I say Eric in person here in El Paso and he is on the BCI Live DVD with Heather Forbes. It is obvious that he knows about emotional regulation.
Have a great week everyone.
Martha

[Teresa]

Thanks Martha. We got that DVD about 3 months ago and my husband did watch it but didn't feel like he got anything 'new' out of it that we hadn't heard at boot camp or BCI Live. I know that for him, a big part of it is his inability to 'connect' to it - he cannot/has not been able to look at his own fear or recognize how that effects his interactions and relationships with the kids. I really would like him to have a group experience with other men if I can find a way to do it!

Thanks for the suggestion!

Teresa