Hello!

[kmjjer2911]

My name is Kathy and I am so thankful to have found this group! My DH and I have been married 14 years (he is awesome!) We are both in our 40's but look WAY younger!! (Having active children keeps us young at heart but tired!!)

We have 2 children that we LOVE so much! K, a daughter adopted at birth from the US and R, a son, adopted from Russia at the age of 15 months. DD is 10 and DS just turned 8.

I'll share more of our story as we go along. I have signed up for the April 16, level I classes. Have read the BC book and only implemented techniques for 10 days....however, we have had 10 really GOOD days with our son and have seen changes for the positive already! And, I am positive that this awesome way of parenting will help with our daughter who just turned 10 but already has pre-teen emotions swirling around her brain!

Our DS was diagnosed with RAD in 2006. We encountered horrible counselors that first month. We have been very blessed to have found a new, awesome attachment counselor whom we have seen for a year and he recommended the BC Forbes/Post book to us. Our son has made huge progress in one year but we were kind of stuck in a holding pattern still dealing with his anger and stress (which we now see is always FEAR-based.) Our counselor is new to the Forbes/Post book so he will be learning as well.

Most importantly, I have new hope and new energy having found this forum and everyone here who will offer understanding and support! We have a lot of parents in our area who have adopted children from overseas orphanages but NONE of them are willing to look at RAD/fear as affecting their own child so I have been quite alone in dealing with this. Thank you for this group!!

Both of our children have big emotional mood swings, are very smart, creative, active, loving, affectionate - just awesome children! But along with that - because of their life beginning circumstances, they have huge needs for the BC parenting techniques. Our son only has RAD - no other diagnoses to contend with but the intense, quick anger is draining. I can see how the BC classes will help us all.

Looking forward to making new friends! Kathy

[greenbeanbanshee]

Wow, Kathy! Your introduction sounds so positive! I cannot tell you how much a positive attitude alone can help you and your family towards healing. The energy you put out truly does come back.

You will love the classes. They are very informative. I wish they had these when I was starting out! I would have been able to help my children so much better. You are very fortunate to have access to them. Please take every advantage of them and of this site.

See you around the Consciously Parenting Project!

~Bethany

[kmjjer2911]

Bethany, thanks for the message. I am just getting used to how to use the forum.

I am a very positive person - I have great faith in God! However, I did go through a terribly down time in February and March this year. I was feeling so isolated dealing with this stuff. Plus I got the flu and after taking Tamiflu, was depressed for 4 days - the first time in my life! Tamiflu causes mild depression for a few days - a true side affect! I am back to normal now - normal emotions I mean!

I think I would still be very down if I had not found Beyond Consequences and this forum and Heather's Daily relections.

Even though we did not know that our son had RAD since adoption almost 7 years ago, we were dealing with mild forms of it all 7 years. I just thought he was a strong-willed, emotional child prone to tantrums. As a baby he would pinch my face, hit, bite, etc when angry and looking back - that was NOT normal toddler behavior especially because he had a look of TERROR on his face when angry. I just did not know about RAD. Plus our daughter adopted at birth has not been easy to parent either - very emotional and strong-willed herself but she definitely does not have RAD but her moodiness will also benefit from BC.

If we had known about RAD I could have done so many things with our son differently. HOWEVER, I don't dwell on regrets. Instead I truly look at the many inches of positive movement forward and I praise God and am thankful for new friends like you!!

I am not alone anymore in dealing with RAD! I knew other parents were out there - just had not connected with anyone.

I AM SO EXCITED about this new turn in our journey! Yes I sound like a crazy cheerleader but I do love life and love my family!

Don't worry for those of you who are feeling really down - I get that way too. And Roman is in a good two week of regulation now- that always helps. He has handled some very stressful situations very well lately - my husband and I are almost in shock but BC parenting must really work! I will boo hoo on your shoulders the next time he gets angry and aggressive which could be at 2:30 p.m. after school today - I NEVER know how he will be after school!! So I BREATHE a lot as I walk to schol to pick him and his sister up!!!

Kathy

[greenbeanbanshee]

"Yes I sound like a crazy cheerleader but I do love life and love my family!" :spit :jumpers

That is so funny. Now we have two cheerleaders! That is excellent!

And yes, you can boo hoo on my shoulder next time, even if it's at 2:30 today. :D That's what I'm here for. I received that from other moms like us when I needed it -- and still do. So I KNOW what it means to have that kind of support. It can be the thing that makes it or breaks it for a family. And you're in the right place. Allow us to do that for you and you'll be one of the "makes it" families. How awesome is that? :hug

So, here's to you -----> :cheer

~Bethany