Q: There are times when I have to say no to something my child wants, but I’m not sure how to handle it when my child gets upset. Sometimes I just give in and let her have what she wants, but that doesn’t feel right and it makes it harder the next time I need Read More
Recently, I chaperoned my daughter’s elementary school field trip to the art museum in town. On the permission slip to the event, there was a disclaimer about nude sculptures and paintings in the museum and a warning of the possible dreadful opportunity for the fourth grade children to see such pieces of art. Then, upon Read More
I realized that while healthy eating is important, it is not above relationships and it is not above a crummy attitude. People matter more than food choices. Now, my views on food are much different. I believe that if we feed our bodies well most of the time, we can indulge in not-so-healthy food at other times.
When my boys were younger, one of their favorite games was to play “Christmas” and “Santa.” We celebrated Christmas in our home and there were inevitably gifts wrapped up and placed under a tree. We tried to be really conscious of what we were giving them, so it was usually just a few small gifts Read More
I think we have the impression that we have to set aside a long period of time to nurture ourselves. Many of us feel that if I can’t go away for a weekend or have a several hour block of time to do what I want, then it isn’t worth the effort. While that longer block of time is important every now and then, we can accomplish quite a bit in just a few minutes.
Over the years, I have fallen in love with different philosophies of education. I love to research and find other ways of doing things and truly believe there is no one right path for even one child throughout his or her formative years. As parents, it is our responsibility to help find the best option for our child at any given time, depending upon what is available where we live, and what we all need as a family.
I feel proud of my kids, but it’s not because of anything I have done. Now I’m proud that they are able to navigate food choices themselves and to listen to their bodies about what and how much to eat. These are skills that will serve them in the future when I’m not right there to ask.
I must confess that when I started September 2010 with a focus on taking good care of myself, I was secretly hoping that the month would good. Fun, even. Sure, I’d have days that were challenging for me, but going at a slower pace and nurturing myself would really help to off-set the yuck I’d encountered in past Septembers. I know that I’ve really needed to nurture myself and I was hoping that if I would just take the time to acknowledge what this month is really like for me, all would be swell.
My children’s behaviors sometimes feel like personal attacks- like they are drawing a circle around themselves. “See,” I reason with myself, “They don’t want to be close or connected or they wouldn’t act like that. He deserves to be on his own then.” I would say to myself. But thankfully – eventually – I was able to see that it was I who was holding the chalk and drawing the circle, and that I had the power to draw a new circle that included him.
So when you or your child has fast-tracked to red, keep in mind that, deep down, there’s a feeling of not being safe. Does knowing this change how you feel about what’s happening? Instead of asking what you can do to make a behavior stop, ask, “What do you need to feel safe? What does my child need to feel safe?” And see what happens.
Kindness might be the virtue I value most and try to instill in them. I had a million dreams of volunteering, giving back to the community, and basically being a family that thought outside of ourselves. And we are like this kind of family, some of the time; however, life keeps getting in the way.
There will always be a to do list. There will always be something else that can distract us or take us out of the present moment. But these times with our children are precious and we can never turn back the hands of time. Seize the moment and connect. Let your children know they are as special as they really are through your actions, not just your words.