Kindness might be the virtue I value most and try to instill in them. I had a million dreams of volunteering, giving back to the community, and basically being a family that thought outside of ourselves. And we are like this kind of family, some of the time; however, life keeps getting in the way.
There will always be a to do list. There will always be something else that can distract us or take us out of the present moment. But these times with our children are precious and we can never turn back the hands of time. Seize the moment and connect. Let your children know they are as special as they really are through your actions, not just your words.
It doesn’t mean that we never set limits because we plan on that extra time for feelings. Sometimes we need to say no. Sometimes it can’t be what they need in that moment. But we still need to acknowledge our child and his feelings. There is nothing more important than relationship! Nothing.
On my daughter’s first birthday, after her party and her first taste of sugar, and after all the guests left, I sat down in the quiet of my house and wrote her a letter. Now, I have a nice stack for each of them, tied with a colorful ribbon. They don’t know they exist, and I can’t wait to give them some day.
I was amazed to read about the fact that there are different brainwave states that are important for us to be happy and healthy besides the “go, do, hurry” one. When we’re rushing around, multi-tasking, and trying to get a lot accomplished, our brain is in “beta.” But did you know that there are 4 main brainstates, not just “on” or “off”? I had a sense that there was more, but really didn’t understand it until I read Connection Parenting.
I think most of us have challenges with asking for help. We’ve learned since early childhood that we’re supposed to do by ourselves. Most of us haven’t had the idea of community modeled for us, like my friend clearly had. How do we create that which we didn’t know even existed?
The sounds on the hill are the sounds of life.
The sounds of connection.
The sounds of people working together.
Of everyday ways that people connect.
Unrolling my mat last night in yoga class, I noticed we had a substitute teacher. I sighed inwardly, a little disturbed that my regular teacher wasn’t there. I felt uncertain, like I didn’t know what I was getting into. Even though I have been doing yoga for twenty-five years–I even taught years ago–I still consider Read More
Maybe you can relate to my own tantrum story. This wasn’t my best parenting day and I’d like to say that it was also my worst, but it wasn’t. It’s a snapshot. A moment of time. And you probably have them, too.
This post is an excerpt from Chapter 2 of Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families. It also includes a video of Rebecca explaining the Brain Stoplight.
I didn’t want to live in Suburbia. I still stand out like a sore thumb, and the PTA ladies probably run the other way when they see me, but I have learned some big lessons. In the past year, I have finally learned that it truly doesn’t matter where you live. You can make any house a home and any neighborhood a community if you choose to do it. You don’t have to hate where you live.
Comment from reader: I would love to have meetings in my community where parents can gather together to support each other in their consciously parenting efforts and even to offer information and guidance to parents who feel that things just aren’t going the way they had hoped.