Keeping-it-together-for-the-kids

Keeping it together, when we’re angry or depressed… for the kids

“I’m scaring my kids,” she said as she sat in my office one summer day. “What scares me the most is that I don’t know how to make this different for me or for them.”

This is a common theme I hear from parents. They’re feeling completely spent, whether they’re going through a rough patch with their spouse, have just begun the process of separation or divorce, or perhaps there’s stress because there simply isn’t enough support to parent effectively.

I want my kids to be helpful

My kid won’t help! 5 tips for creating a culture of working together.

“My son refuses to help out. He isn’t very independent. He wants me to do a lot for him and so I do. But I resent it.”

It brought up a great question. How do parents navigate those situations when we need our child to help out without resorting to yelling, hitting, or threatening? How can we consciously parent through it?

Nurturing-Connection-through-play

Nurturing Connection Through Play!

What do our children really need to be emotionally healthy and to feel nurtured in our relationship with them? Play is one of six things discussed in Rebecca’s upcoming book that we can do to nurture connection with our children (and our friends and partner, too).

disconnected

4 things you can do today when you feel disconnected from your child

“I’m so upset! He’s working completely against me. No matter what I do, he continues to speak to me disrespectfully. I’ve tried punishing him, but he doesn’t seem to care. What am I supposed to do? I want a good relationship with my son, but he’s making it impossible!”

Maybe you can relate to this mom’s struggle. She had tried all the usual suggestions, but things hadn’t improved. She had no idea what to do next. Many parents feel this way and find themselves at the end of their rope.

I’ve been there as a parent myself. I wanted to parent from a loving place, but my kid’s behaviors were driving me crazy. Like a really bad kind of crazy. I didn’t know what to do.

nursingpic1

Compassion for Early Feeding Choices

The baby was only 3 days old when I received the phone call. It was from a dad and I always know I’m working with a great family when dad is on the phone for the new mama who needs breastfeeding support. And it probably also means that they’re in distress.

The new baby girl, Sofi, was chomping at the breast every time she’d nurse. I knew this meant that mom was in pain and that the baby wasn’t getting much milk (or colostrum, which is the first milk), either. I started asking questions about the baby’s birth.

mom-cation

How to get a Mom-cation

I was exhausted. Everyone had been going on high speed. Lots of emotional issues had been coming up for each of us. Throw in some financial concerns, end of the school year for three family members, traveling across the country for my brother’s (really fun and amazing) wedding, along with my book release, and it was a way past time for a little break.

Sound familiar to you?

Overwhelmed mom learns to

Overwhelmed Mom Learns to “Validate and Relocate” (guest post)

I did not realize what exactly made me feel so often overwhelmed by my 3 young children (a 4-year-old and 18-month-old twins), or how my actions could be impacting their behavior. I was careful from early on not to build dependence playing with me, hoping they would learn to play on their own, which was generally successful. So I was very confused about why they usually just wanted to be held, worn, or sit on my lap instead of play. It was impacting me and making feel touched out too much of the time. I couldn’t just leave them alone without supervision to get a break, and it wasn’t good for them to have a mom with no energy or patience, either. Something needed to change.

Zach-13mo

Reconnection, Not Perfection

In the other room, a volcano seemed to be exploding. I quickly realized it was my 13 year-old son who had just gotten very frustrated with his iPod and launched it across the room. I was on the phone with a client and my husband was out of town. Seemed like an impossible situation just then. I wrapped up my session and went out to see what had happened.

child-wanting-to-connect

Connecting When You Don’t Have a Magic Wand

Everyone wants to find peace. Everyone wants connection. But sometimes that’s just not our family’s reality. Maybe our reality is tension. Maybe there are disagreements and fights. Maybe we find ourselves disliking being around our child or the disconnection just feels bad to us and we want it to be different. Or maybe we’re overwhelmed. So where do we start when we’re far from a place of love, ease, and joy? How can we begin our journey to this seemingly elusive place?