I think we have the impression that we have to set aside a long period of time to nurture ourselves. Many of us feel that if I can’t go away for a weekend or have a several hour block of time to do what I want, then it isn’t worth the effort. While that longer block of time is important every now and then, we can accomplish quite a bit in just a few minutes.
Over the years, I have fallen in love with different philosophies of education. I love to research and find other ways of doing things and truly believe there is no one right path for even one child throughout his or her formative years. As parents, it is our responsibility to help find the best option for our child at any given time, depending upon what is available where we live, and what we all need as a family.
I feel proud of my kids, but it’s not because of anything I have done. Now I’m proud that they are able to navigate food choices themselves and to listen to their bodies about what and how much to eat. These are skills that will serve them in the future when I’m not right there to ask.
Originally posted on The Consciously Parenting Blog October 6, 2010 I must confess that when I started September 2010 with a focus on taking good care of myself, I was secretly hoping that the month would good. Fun, even. Sure, I’d have days that were challenging for me, but going at a slower pace and Read More
My children’s behaviors sometimes feel like personal attacks- like they are drawing a circle around themselves. “See,” I reason with myself, “They don’t want to be close or connected or they wouldn’t act like that. He deserves to be on his own then.” I would say to myself. But thankfully – eventually – I was able to see that it was I who was holding the chalk and drawing the circle, and that I had the power to draw a new circle that included him.
So when you or your child has fast-tracked to red, keep in mind that, deep down, there’s a feeling of not being safe. Does knowing this change how you feel about what’s happening? Instead of asking what you can do to make a behavior stop, ask, “What do you need to feel safe? What does my child need to feel safe?” And see what happens.
Kindness might be the virtue I value most and try to instill in them. I had a million dreams of volunteering, giving back to the community, and basically being a family that thought outside of ourselves. And we are like this kind of family, some of the time; however, life keeps getting in the way.
There will always be a to do list. There will always be something else that can distract us or take us out of the present moment. But these times with our children are precious and we can never turn back the hands of time. Seize the moment and connect. Let your children know they are as special as they really are through your actions, not just your words.
It doesn’t mean that we never set limits because we plan on that extra time for feelings. Sometimes we need to say no. Sometimes it can’t be what they need in that moment. But we still need to acknowledge our child and his feelings. There is nothing more important than relationship! Nothing.
On my daughter’s first birthday, after her party and her first taste of sugar, and after all the guests left, I sat down in the quiet of my house and wrote her a letter. Now, I have a nice stack for each of them, tied with a colorful ribbon. They don’t know they exist, and I can’t wait to give them some day.
I was amazed to read about the fact that there are different brainwave states that are important for us to be happy and healthy besides the “go, do, hurry” one. When we’re rushing around, multi-tasking, and trying to get a lot accomplished, our brain is in “beta.” But did you know that there are 4 main brainstates, not just “on” or “off”? I had a sense that there was more, but really didn’t understand it until I read Connection Parenting.
I think most of us have challenges with asking for help. We’ve learned since early childhood that we’re supposed to do by ourselves. Most of us haven’t had the idea of community modeled for us, like my friend clearly had. How do we create that which we didn’t know even existed?