Whenever I ask a group of parents what they want for their children, the topic of respect inevitably comes up. Parents want their children to be respected, but parents also want to feel respected by their children. Many parents grew up not feeling respected themselves and most parents, it turns out, grew up having at least one experience (most had many experiences) of not being respected by an adult in their life.
Okay, let’s be real. A car full of kids, including one that can’t sit still for an entire movie, an adolescent boy, a hormonal teenager, and two tired parents does not make for a great road trip across the country. Perhaps, it would be a fantastic movie, one of those disaster movies that you can’t Read More
Everywhere we look nowadays, children are being diagnosed and labeled with disorders based on their behavior, with acronyms being placed near their names. “Johnny has ADD, that’s why he can’t sit still.” “Sherry has RAD and that’s why she can’t attach to us.” “Vinny is on the (autism) spectrum.” But how does it help to label our children?
I’m giving away 4 one-year memberships to the new Consciously Parenting Learning Center and Community. These are the GOLD memberships, so you get all the support of the Healing Story Circles- lovely spaces to connect with other parents via video chat where we create a safe container to share whatever is on your heart and mind so you can find your own answers- and all the content for a full year- as a gift.
Having dinner with my aunt recently forced me to revisit my boundary issues. You know the boundaries I am talking about, the lines that should be drawn in situations you aren’t comfortable with, like say uprooting your family of five to help someone else with their vacation plans. “I need you to live in my Read More
America seems full of finger-pointing and, in general, we like to blame someone else for our problems. People sued McDonald’s when their coffee was too hot and won. It wasn’t their fault that the coffee was hot, after all, and they burned themselves. If the problem exists outside of ourselves, then it really isn’t about us. We don’t need to make a change. But if we can recognize that there is probably a small part that is our responsibility, that means that we can make it different.
Listening to your gut when faced with a challenging social situation is hard. We don’t want to believe bad things are happening in the moment. However, when presented with someone that shows you unkindness or frightening opposition, listen to that feeling. Believe yourself.
I kept pulling and yanking against him like those darned Chinese Handcuffs, for nearly half an hour. And my fingers were clearly still stuck inside. The child wasn’t dressed, lunches weren’t packed, and we were at a stalemate.
Finally, I had a moment of clarity. I let go of the outcome in that second- let go of all that needed to be done. I stopped struggling. We were probably going to be late anyway. I shifted from what I needed to something that was important and fun for him, connecting with him rather than my own agenda.
Have you ever noticed something in your life where you have an unexpected reaction? Maybe it’s out of proportion to whatever is happening in the moment. Maybe you suddenly start sobbing in a movie and you didn’t see it coming. Or your child does something and you get completely over the top angry. Yet, as you reflect on it later, you have no idea why you were SO upset about it? I just had the experience of noticing something like this and thought I would share it with you.