I want my kids to be helpful

My kid won’t help! 5 tips for creating a culture of working together.

“My son refuses to help out. He isn’t very independent. He wants me to do a lot for him and so I do. But I resent it.”

It brought up a great question. How do parents navigate those situations when we need our child to help out without resorting to yelling, hitting, or threatening? How can we consciously parent through it?

Nurturing-Connection-through-play

Nurturing Connection Through Play!

What do our children really need to be emotionally healthy and to feel nurtured in our relationship with them? Play is one of six things discussed in Rebecca’s upcoming book that we can do to nurture connection with our children (and our friends and partner, too).

disconnected

4 things you can do today when you feel disconnected from your child

“I’m so upset! He’s working completely against me. No matter what I do, he continues to speak to me disrespectfully. I’ve tried punishing him, but he doesn’t seem to care. What am I supposed to do? I want a good relationship with my son, but he’s making it impossible!”

Maybe you can relate to this mom’s struggle. She had tried all the usual suggestions, but things hadn’t improved. She had no idea what to do next. Many parents feel this way and find themselves at the end of their rope.

I’ve been there as a parent myself. I wanted to parent from a loving place, but my kid’s behaviors were driving me crazy. Like a really bad kind of crazy. I didn’t know what to do.

nursingpic1

Compassion for Early Feeding Choices

The baby was only 3 days old when I received the phone call. It was from a dad and I always know I’m working with a great family when dad is on the phone for the new mama who needs breastfeeding support. And it probably also means that they’re in distress.

The new baby girl, Sofi, was chomping at the breast every time she’d nurse. I knew this meant that mom was in pain and that the baby wasn’t getting much milk (or colostrum, which is the first milk), either. I started asking questions about the baby’s birth.

mom-cation

How to get a Mom-cation

I was exhausted. Everyone had been going on high speed. Lots of emotional issues had been coming up for each of us. Throw in some financial concerns, end of the school year for three family members, traveling across the country for my brother’s (really fun and amazing) wedding, along with my book release, and it was a way past time for a little break.

Sound familiar to you?

Zach-13mo

Reconnection, Not Perfection

In the other room, a volcano seemed to be exploding. I quickly realized it was my 13 year-old son who had just gotten very frustrated with his iPod and launched it across the room. I was on the phone with a client and my husband was out of town. Seemed like an impossible situation just then. I wrapped up my session and went out to see what had happened.

child-wanting-to-connect

Connecting When You Don’t Have a Magic Wand

Everyone wants to find peace. Everyone wants connection. But sometimes that’s just not our family’s reality. Maybe our reality is tension. Maybe there are disagreements and fights. Maybe we find ourselves disliking being around our child or the disconnection just feels bad to us and we want it to be different. Or maybe we’re overwhelmed. So where do we start when we’re far from a place of love, ease, and joy? How can we begin our journey to this seemingly elusive place?

steveandpax-600w

The Myth of Independence

From the time our children emerge from the womb, we’re bombarded with questions about how well our babies sleep and eat. These questions sound innocent enough, yet seem to seek that deeper question of how much our children depend on us, how needy they are, and how independent they are from day one. It is unspoken, but it seems that the better our answers are alluding to the un-neediness of our offspring, the “better” we are as parents. And new parents are vulnerable. Even if we don’t believe that our children shouldn’t be needing us, doubts can creep in unwillingly to even the strongest parent whose baby is getting up again in the middle of the night at (gasp) 8 weeks old. Or 8 months old. Or 18 months old.

low-battery

Needs: Ours vs. Theirs? Is there a better way?

“I’m really struggling with nursing my 2 year old,” the mother confided. “I can’t say this to very many people because most people just say that I should wean. But that doesn’t feel right to me, either. So I nurse her even though I really don’t feel like it and I resent her for it. I want to meet Sarah’s needs and I want to be the best parent I can for my daughter, but this isn’t working for me.”