Everyone wants to find peace. Everyone wants connection. But sometimes that’s just not our family’s reality. Maybe our reality is tension. Maybe there are disagreements and fights. Maybe we find ourselves disliking being around our child or the disconnection just feels bad to us and we want it to be different. Or maybe we’re overwhelmed. So where do we start when we’re far from a place of love, ease, and joy? How can we begin our journey to this seemingly elusive place?
When you give up, it might be too late.
When you lose all hope, it might be too late.
When all you can see is the darkness,
it might be too late.
From the time our children emerge from the womb, we’re bombarded with questions about how well our babies sleep and eat. These questions sound innocent enough, yet seem to seek that deeper question of how much our children depend on us, how needy they are, and how independent they are from day one. It is unspoken, but it seems that the better our answers are alluding to the un-neediness of our offspring, the “better” we are as parents. And new parents are vulnerable. Even if we don’t believe that our children shouldn’t be needing us, doubts can creep in unwillingly to even the strongest parent whose baby is getting up again in the middle of the night at (gasp) 8 weeks old. Or 8 months old. Or 18 months old.
“I’m really struggling with nursing my 2 year old,” the mother confided. “I can’t say this to very many people because most people just say that I should wean. But that doesn’t feel right to me, either. So I nurse her even though I really don’t feel like it and I resent her for it. I want to meet Sarah’s needs and I want to be the best parent I can for my daughter, but this isn’t working for me.”
Lately, I’ve been really reflecting about what families can do to create more nurturing experiences. With my recent experiences with the work of Hedy Schleifer and Crossing the Bridge, I have some ideas that might help you start thinking about the simple things you can do to create more love, connection, and nurturing in your family. Hint: It doesn’t have to take a lot of time!
I’ve been working on the part of my book about nurturing relationships.
Honestly, I found myself feeling kind of stumped. I’ve found that life circumstances sometimes create irony and laugh in the face of a writer trying to explore a particular topic. I’ve been blessed with a feeling of doubt- that I have no idea what I’m actually trying to say. Seriously. I’ve stared at this part of the book for days and days now and it was supposed to be finished last week.
Question: We had a huge issue with repeated disrespect and abuse from my father and we have stopped having contact completely as a result. My kids don’t understand why they can’t see their grandfather anymore and I’m not really sure how to talk to them about it. They’re still really young and telling the whole […]
Welcome, Meredith Keith-Chirch! Thank you for sharing your story with us here at The Consciously Parenting Project! I’m so excited that you’re opening up this much needed support for families of mixed races and ethnicities! I’m really excited to be embarking on a new project with Rebecca here at the Consciously Parenting Project. Rebecca […]
Your child is on the playground and falls. She isn’t injured badly, but clearly the wind has been knocked out and it scared her. What do you do? How do you feel in that moment? Are you stifling your own fears? (She could really have gotten badly injured!!) Are you feeling disconnected? (She shouldn’t have […]
Yesterday, I talked about the amazing properties and the complex role of breastmilk in our bodies
One of my sweetest memories is of something I heard the day my daughter was born. It was my husband.
Did you know that breastmilk contains stem cells? How cool is that?!
When I learned that the birth center where I was planning to have my son required breastfeeding, I felt a familiar, “No one can tell me what to do” rise up within me.
Here in the Northern Hemisphere, the days are getting longer, trees are green, flowers are blooming