I think we have the impression that we have to set aside a long period of time to nurture ourselves. Many of us feel that if I can’t go away for a weekend or have a several hour block of time to do what I want, then it isn’t worth the effort. While that longer block of time is important every now and then, we can accomplish quite a bit in just a few minutes.
Transforming reactivity to a conscious response is a continuous practice. It’s done in millimeters, not quantum leaps. Little by little we change and grow, by acknowledging our stress triggers and how they feel in the body.
Over the years, I have fallen in love with different philosophies of education. I love to research and find other ways of doing things and truly believe there is no one right path for even one child throughout his or her formative years. As parents, it is our responsibility to help find the best option for our child at any given time, depending upon what is available where we live, and what we all need as a family.
I feel proud of my kids, but it’s not because of anything I have done. Now I’m proud that they are able to navigate food choices themselves and to listen to their bodies about what and how much to eat. These are skills that will serve them in the future when I’m not right there to ask.
We’ve all had them. Some are small, others overwhelming. If you’re here, you’re a step ahead in that you’re aware that you have them. Parenting brings them on in full force. We’re talking about triggers with guest parenting expert Carrie Contey.
Originally posted on The Consciously Parenting Blog October 6, 2010 I must confess that when I started September 2010 with a focus on taking good care of myself, I was secretly hoping that the month would good. Fun, even. Sure, I’d have days that were challenging for me, but going at a slower pace and Read More
My children’s behaviors sometimes feel like personal attacks- like they are drawing a circle around themselves. “See,” I reason with myself, “They don’t want to be close or connected or they wouldn’t act like that. He deserves to be on his own then.” I would say to myself. But thankfully – eventually – I was able to see that it was I who was holding the chalk and drawing the circle, and that I had the power to draw a new circle that included him.
My story is about the incredible power of Story Healing and how my family was able to get through a really tough time with the help of this knowledge. I am forever grateful that I was able to help my daughter (and all of us) to heal emotionally from her difficult experience specifically because of the support I received from Rebecca to do this work.
So when you or your child has fast-tracked to red, keep in mind that, deep down, there’s a feeling of not being safe. Does knowing this change how you feel about what’s happening? Instead of asking what you can do to make a behavior stop, ask, “What do you need to feel safe? What does my child need to feel safe?” And see what happens.
Rebecca and Lianne are back again this week to talk about how stories can help with the small hurts and disappointments of everyday life. Story Healing isn’t just a technique to be used when there is trauma, but it can be an effective tool to help move through normal tantrums and upsets.
There will always be a to do list. There will always be something else that can distract us or take us out of the present moment. But these times with our children are precious and we can never turn back the hands of time. Seize the moment and connect. Let your children know they are as special as they really are through your actions, not just your words.
It doesn’t mean that we never set limits because we plan on that extra time for feelings. Sometimes we need to say no. Sometimes it can’t be what they need in that moment. But we still need to acknowledge our child and his feelings. There is nothing more important than relationship! Nothing.