Free Audio: Interview with Inbal Kashtan

by Stephanie Bachmann Mattei

Stephanie Bachmann Mattei, Ph.D., instructor of our Parenting from the Heart class series, interviewed Inbal Kashtan on December 29, 2008. We invite you to join them as they discuss NVC and parenting in this FREE one hour audio.

Inbal is a certified trainer with The Center For Nonviolent Communication, is co-founder of BayNVC and the Parenting Project Coordinator for the Center for Nonviolent Communication.

She is the author of Parenting from Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion, Connection and Choice, on which NVC telecourse Level 1 is based.

NVC has been described as a road map out of conflict, as a language of compassion, and as a tool for positive social change.

NVC is a way of living - how we relate to others and ourselves. It is a way of communicating that supports connection and compassionfor ourselves and others.

How does this paradigm relate to parenting?

One of the principles of NVC is to see every behavior as an attempt to meet a universal human need. It is really about going beyond behavior and even going beyond a right/wrong mentality.

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I loved Stephanie's interview with Inbal for all the clarity and inspiration that I recieved. For the awe I felt at how much we can actually change and the richness these changes can bring. Touched and hopeful that there are people working out there for values I hold so dear.

I've placed this interview on my electronic shelf with the intention to listen to it many more times, sure that I will gain something new with every listening.

Warmly,
Clemency

Feedback from a listener named Rita:

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the interview…as an “older” parent, empty nester, there was so much there for me to resonate with and to use in my daily life.

I’m no longer beating myself up as much for not having been as compassionate as I wanted to be with my sons when they were small. I appreciated the heartfelt suggestions for how to move toward power-with relationships.

What struck me most in the interview was the phrase “this is a human being in pain”. As I thought of myself sometimes choosing to yell at the boys when they were little (maybe the time two of them opened the fridge and dropped a dozen eggs on the floor, one at a time), I had compassion for myself in that situation. I could imagine “me” in all my frustration and say to the image “This was a human being in pain”….I actually connected with my needs for support and ease, and order. After doing that, I could connect with what I thought their (well met!) needs were in the situation…probably discovery, cooperation and fun! And, I have to admit, it was pretty funny.

I am taking that phrase to work with me, as well. I am finding it applies to “big” people around whom I get triggered, as well as kids. And focusing on the self-empathy has helped me to avoid the mourning about not having known NVC when the kids were young.